About Bridging the Gap

As a transracially adopted Black woman and educator, I have learned that the connections we make with others and our environment when we are young greatly influence who we grow into as adults.  Through my work as an educator I have seen the power that having mirrors, or peers who reflect your physical features and life experiences, can have.  Through my own experience as a transracial adoptee I have felt what it is like to be without them. I never had connection to other adoptees in a way that made me feel safe to talk about some of the more complex feelings and thoughts I had related to adoption.  I never had anyone with whom I could talk about what it truly meant to be adopted -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.  The few adoptees I did know growing up weren't adopted outside of their race and so I often had no one to turn to whom I felt could truly understand my experience.  Like many transracial adoptees, it wasn't until college that I began to deeply explore my identity as a Black person because, for the first time, I was solely judged based on whom I showed up as in a space without the reputation, guidance, or privilege of my White adoptive family.   Looking back, I wish my identity journey and connection to my Black roots had been developed much earlier so I was prepared for the society we live in.  So I am here today creating a space that didn’t exist for me, but was so desperately needed.  I believe in a world where adoptees can find connection with other adoptees who grow up in families that look similar to their own and use their community of mirrors to support them on their identity journey.

I was unaware of the need for a community that mirrored me as a child. This was because I was never fully exposed or had anyone to relate to. I didn’t know what I needed because I never had it. In college I found myself, I found my community and I found my identity as a black woman. I was able to embrace my culture without the fear of “rocking the boat” or offending others. As a transracially adopted woman, a social worker and a post adoption therapist, I see now the need for there to be spaces for children who are adopted transracially. These spaces should not be something that an adoptee has to seek out or fall into, it should be a normalized piece of adoption and available for all to help create a successful and healthy view of who we are as a whole. As humans we seek connection, we seek those who relate to us and we seek validation that our experiences are not unique. Transracial adoption is not unique, so there should never be a day in the mind of a transracial adoptee that they feel different, special or alone. These groups will serve to provide that community to transracially adopted black girls, to empower, uplift and encourage them to speak loudly and proudly about everything that may feel taboo within their experience as a transracial adoptee and it will be a safe space to connect with others sharing similar experiences.